We lose loved ones and things dear to our hearts. Our bonds and sentiments make the losses different even when we lose the same person, football match, job , phone or whatever else. How is it that one can tell me to my face that they understand? Do they really?
Exams always overwhelm me. A lot comes to my mind when i have exams scheduled. Will i make it to the venue in time, will i be feeling alright, will i find something to write, what’s at stake if i fail, who’s rooting for me? Do i really have to write this? What if i fail? When i met a friend and tried to explain my predicament, i got an ,” i understand”. I wonder if all this is what she meant.
I got sick, a while back, with a heavy fever. I couldn’t stand the pain. It wasn’t just the physical pain but emotional pain too. All i thought of was what i was missing out on and the pressure I’d have if i were to ever recover. When i told folks i was not well, i got lots of “i understand’s”, when i had barely explained my worries in-depth. I didn’t get it and still don’t. Do they really get it?
Most of the times i get to have people of my gender telling the they understand. Again, do they really? I for one can barely even imagine what my sister or close friend could be going though and then a person merely connected to me by gender, tells me they understand whatever i could be going through!
Students may have the same teacher, eat the same meal, wear the same uniform, have access to the same learning materials and yet their understanding of a subject differs incredibly. Same applies for people doing the same job or in the same situation like marriage or sick in a hospital. We can’t deny the differences because they vividly show in our different reactions to situations. Don’t tell me I’m being unreasonable or dramatic, rather , help me see things feom your angle.
It’s the actions people take after saying they understand that expose their ignorance. Actions speak louder after all. If you understand what i could be going through, the least you can do is try to ease things for me somehow, not add to my worries. If you understood, you’d know that i need time alone, a hug , some medication or rest. When you do the opposite, can i really count on your word?
How about we avoid saying, “i understand”. Can we please look for others way to show our “understanding”. I’m sure I’d trust your advice and help.Allow me to tell you my story first before you say anything. Maybe then your claim to “understand” will be more convincing.