Shaping my future..

“You didn’t come here to be fearful, but to shape your future”. This piece of information changed my attitude.

I came back to school to write exams. They’d been scheduled for July but now we’re in September and i had pretty much forgotten about what I’d learnt. Fear and panic was making me lose focus. Right until i saw the fateful statement on a little insignificant piece of paper, that i still wonder how i noticed. Imma be shaping my future now. I’m focusing on the long term goals and exercising discipline!

Hard exam, source of motivation

The exam was super hard today . Right now i don’t wish it was easier though, but rather that i was better. Better acquainted with the information i needed for it to be easy. Anyway, I won’t waste time crying over spilt milk. I have to focus on why i slipped not focus on where i fell.

My head’s aching….

I was super stressed about how today was going to go. I had all sorts of imaginations, predictions, alternatives, wishes, and hopes about it. Now that its done, i don’t know why my head is aching.

Maybe its because it was so much work. I had to travel and meet lots of new people. I had to run contingency plans for errands that just sprouted from nowhere! Now that I’m done, and just want to rest, my head aches.

I have to get better soon, i need to. I gotto prepare for tomorrow. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but i hope it will be awesome. Now I’m just praying for my head to give up aching. For only then will tomorrow be brighter!

And then you wonder….

“Artists” overdo it sometimes! Especially those who rap. You won’t believe how far they are willing to go for a silly rhyme. I think they give themselves too much pressure. They need not embarrass themselves in effort to please us. Ooh i forgot they don’t really target sober folks but those who’re usually high on the booze, and don’t really care.

So close, yet so far…

Ever had a crush on a friend? It’s a pandemic for sure! They’ll be so close all the freaking time! Yet so far away.

In most of the lectures i attended, i love to sit upfront, close to the speakers, hoping to retain more and not miss anything. Usually my eye which loves detail so much will be busy making brain look for files containing fashion or sources of other cool things I’ll be seeing in front of me. In the exam, it hurts when i remember, vehemently, the clothes the lecture wore or the funny comment he or she might’ve said but nothing about what she was talking about. Sometimes i might actually recall the theme but everything else, dololo. I always have hope in being close but i guess that just takes me far.

Sometimes its the techniques i use that make things seem to be much closer when in actual fact they’ll be far. I guess Almost is not close enough!

Let’s think dog for a second….

Maggie has been in the bathroom since forever! Today she’s not even looked at me. When i peeped through the bathroom door i saw her snuggling with that stupid toilet paper instead of me! I’ll deal with it!

Oh oh, she just left the bathroom, this is the perfect time for me to teach that tissue a lesson, no one should dare think of spending more time with Maggie on my watch!

Today she left it within my reach, wow, she must’ve read my mind! Come here you sneaky white paper, you think because your whiter you can take my territory too? Not today!

Ooh wow!, you’re really soft . It’s no wonder Maggie was cozy with you! What else can you do? Are you stretching right now? Wanna play ? Fine lets do this! This is so cool! Who knew today would get better like this? Best day ever! I wonder why Maggie never introduced us…

Uh ooh, speak of the devil and she appears!Back so suddenly? Were we making so much noise? Why is she laughing now? She’s even taking pictures! What’s going on? Am i in trouble?

I can play pretend….

I can play pretend Pretend i like you Pretend you make me happy Pretend you’re all i need Why? Well, just because…. Because you’re the next best thing Because i think maybe I’ll end up actually liking you.

I can play pretend Pretend i don’t like you Pretend you annoy and hurt me Pretend i don’t need you Why? Well, just because Because your the best match for me yet Because i think maybe if i show you I’m into you you’ll use me like they usually do.

Pretence is all i see, feel ,hear when I’m around you. You’re so good at it most people think that’s actually who you are Fortunately, i can see right through you, and can pretend just as well as you can but my pretence is better, coz it’s got some attitude babe I can play pretend.

When the excitement depletes…

I bet she was so excited when she got the bike,when she got ready to learn to ride. See, she even had a dress that matches the cute bike. She thought she’d gotten the hang of it when suddenly ,it felt as though she was flying. It felt exactly as she’d dreamt the past night . The ecstasy was cut short when suddenly she hit the mud. She was shocked. She didn’t even feel the whole ‘rescue’ process until she stood there, cold looking at the now ‘stupid’, dirty bike.

We experience disappointing times like that sometimes. When excitement for something depletes because of a big fail at your first try. You don’t necessarily have to give up. Maybe change your approach. Trust me, when finally you master it all, the fail will be part of your testimony and the success more sweet and sentimental.

Why i don’t open up..

I can’t have people draining me, walking all over me and my issues.Inviting each other to exploit my weakness. I’m sorry but I’m not sorry i don’t open up. I can’t risk it. I hope you understand.